don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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