I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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