Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
