Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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