STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
