Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
