Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
