I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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