This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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