I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
