Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
