i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
