A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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