dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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