i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
