The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
