Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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