It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I understand Curling. That high.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
