I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
