His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
