you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
