Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
