Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
