just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
