I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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