so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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