last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
