I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
