i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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