So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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