Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
