hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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