I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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