Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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