I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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