i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just googled if crying burns calories
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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