I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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