jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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