Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
two words: eviction party
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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