talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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