"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
