We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
