Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
