yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
