I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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