why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize