I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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