At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
