worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The beer is more important than you right now.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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