On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
