so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
