when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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