talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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