I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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