making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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